Another Christmas done and gone

Sigh, another holiday has slipped by.  Did I hurry and busy it away, or did I take a few moments to enjoy the hopeful chaotic fun?

This was a very different Christmas for us.  No expectations from family, no expectations of family of my own, and no expectations from us at all.  I often hope that the perfect gifts and the perfect gathering and the perfect meal will be proof enough that I am loved, but that isn't the case now.  I wasn't expected to pack up my five kids and dog and drive anywhere.  I did not expect, often only to be disappointed, that my siblings and their kids might spend Christmas Eve and Day with us, as we always did with my mother.  I did not expect my husband and children to fill the void left behind by my long-gone parents and family.  I created a sanctuary by building my own traditions with my children and husband.  And it was amazing!  We had a quiet Christmas Eve at home, decorating cookies, prepping a turkey, calling close family and texting close friends, spending time together just the eight of us.  The children had a nice supper of McDonalds, opened their new Christmas jammies, we read the story of Christ's birth, and they all snuggled into bed.  Hubby and I watched tv shows and went to bed early.  Christmas morning we all showered, the kids opened their stockings and hubby made breakfast; the kids opened half their presents then powered out.  We had a beautiful meal, then opened Round 2 of gifts. 

This year I had no false expectations of large sums of money or grand diamonds, and I was not disappointed at all!  It was wonderful!  The afternoon was spent opening toys, snacking on leftovers, speaking with grandparents, playing Wii and just enjoying each other.  It was perfect, absolutely perfect.  This was the Christmas I've been dreaming of for the past twenty years, a Christmas of my own surrounded by my family, creating memories and traditions, perfect and imperfect. 

I miss my parents, especially my mom so much at Christmas.  We always had good Christmases filled with family and presents and food.  It was a nice break from school, family would come over; so many wonderful Christmas memories.  I know they are with us in spirit, and they've taught me everything I know about Christmas and making family memories.  Six years ago we spent my mother's last Christmas with her.  God, I miss her so much.

 

How lucky am I?