Thank you for the gift of marriage. I have been so blessed to experience all the different seasons of marriage, the easy and the hard. I pray that as my relationship with my husband continues to grow deeper that I would have a desire to pursue him. I pray that you would inspire creative ways to love him everyday. May you also give him a desire to him to love me in great ways. May our love be overflowing. I also ask that your peace fills our hearts and covers our home in Jesus name AMEN
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To be honest, my marriage isn't perfect, and I certainly haven't been the perfect wife or the perfect mother or the perfect daughter of God. I've yelled, cursed, lied, spanked, manipulated, but for some reason this is what makes me human, and I am forgiven by God because of my imperfection. It all began with Eve, didn't it? She, and I, forgot our worth and where we came from.
So here I am, marriage and personal counselling, two sessions in one day-thats how imperfect I am! I am afraid, and I've spent 39 years transferring that fear and pain into patterns which no longer serve me anymore. I no longer want to live in fear, anger, loneliness and feel worthless. I want to live and parent and spouse with joy and integrity. I want to be a godly woman, someone who new brides want to model their marriages on. But do I have to be perfect to do that, or can God use my imperfection to teach others about Christian marriage?
I want to be good, gentle, kind, faithful, patient and in control. I don't want to fill my void of fear with overeating or overspending, as those patterns do not help me achieve my goals of health or being debt-free. I want my home to be a sanctuary where my children and husband and myself can come and be at peace, be free from harm, less worried, less rushed and feel loved and supported-no fear. I've created that for my children, but for my marriage? Do we have common marriage, parenting and financial goals? We are both believers, which is an incredible start! We are Christians and do not hide that, we don't announce it, but we don't deny God is in our lives. We are Catholics and all seven of us have received Catholic baptism. Jeremy and I have also received communion and confirmation and marriage, and in two years we will watch from the pews as our first child also received communion.
Resilient marriage are based on love, forgiveness, respect, honesty and are enduring and committed. Am I all of those things to my husband each day? Most days, I waken with those values towards him on my mind, but I am swift to sin based on ego or simply fatigue. But God is also quick to forgive. Do I also forgive quickly, or do I choose to hold resentment and anger? Am I grateful for all of the lessons and gifts I am given from God and others?
Sometimes the truth hurts, have I been a godly woman all day today and since I haven't, am I willing to forgive myself and others as God does? What makes me think I'm any less special than He made me?
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