Another lesson or a gift?

We had a Christmas get together with Chef Gavin and four friends last night.  It was really nice to meet up with close friends and enjoy a delicious meal cooked and cleaned up by somebody else!  It was wonderful!  Such a nice evening!

I was told last night by my friend A, that dh's former summer friend C has been badmouthing me to her and I assume, others.  I was trying to take the high road with him, be forgiving, mend broken bonds, I mean if he and his wife work with my spouse, there really is no other way, is there?  What did my dh tell him this summer?  I had an OL friend mention last year that if you're having marital problems, do not share them with friends, that even once they're sorted out, that friends never forget even if you have.  Is that what is going on here?  Was my husband disloyal to me, does he know this is going on, is he putting a stop to it?  Loyalty to anyone over your spouse or family never ends well, ever. 
How does this make me feel?  It hurts that this person doesn't like me, but then again not everyone is going to like me in this world.  I cannot control what others think and do, only my reactions to it.  I am angry.  I am being dishonored by a professional who works with my husband and we share mutual friends.  Do I handle this professionally through his licensing board, through his wife since he won't communicate with me, but takes the time to badmouth me to mutual friends.  Or do I let dh know how upset I am about this and take some action, or do I just continue to take the higher road, ignore him and his need to bash women, and move on?  His marriage is crumbling again and he will likely get what he's got coming to him, and do I feel badly for that?  I should, but right now I am not in a forgive/forget mode with him, he worked very hard to drag my husband down a dark path and my family pays for it to this day.  But that problem lies with my husband, doesn't it?  I need to think and pray on this more before I speak to my husband.  I guess if he defends his "friend" then the answer is pretty clear as to what this means for my marriage. 

Another lesson presents itself.  What can I learn from this?  Controlling others and gossiping are tools not of God.  That is apparent.  Anger and hostility and hatred, jealously, alcohol, spousal control-these are all characteristics of the person I am discussing, maybe I have been or done all of these things, now what can this experience teach me about how I act and react?